This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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