I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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