Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
