Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
