If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
This toilet bowl is my home.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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