90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
