At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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