i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
