you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
