You really coming over, don't trick.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
