No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
