he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
