shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize