I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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