just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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