That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
