I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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