I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
