Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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