just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
