I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize