guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
