just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
