Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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