for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
