We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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