Whod you bang
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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