Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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