Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
