i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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