i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
