no, he came in my armpit
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
