I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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