I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
