I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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