i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
