We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
