you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Vodka?
Forever.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize