Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
