You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
