Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
