I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
