Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
