Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize