foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
