The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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