I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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