I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
