I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!