"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well