What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.