got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".