fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
