All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
