I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
