we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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