o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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