Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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