I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
