Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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