that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
