i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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