She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
