I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
