The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
